To The Bone
by oatsandroses
Summary: Stefan starts to notice that something is just not right with his relationship with Bonnie. She disappears for days on end then when she comes back acts like she had been there the whole time, her love for him changes every day. She's hiding something or going through something and leaving him out of the loop. Will she tell him what's going on or leave him wondering? STEFONNIE
1. Chapter 1

**: Prologue :**

Sex. Why does it feel so damn good? I mean every fucking time, it's good. Maybe I've just been very blessed with my sexual experiences but sex is something that I cannot live without. That and murder. Ah, murder. It just feels so good like cumming. The high, the thrill, the excitement. Draining someone of their blood, feeling their life fade and fade away until they're no longer is the greatest power that one can possess. Well, power that a vampire can possess unless you're a real psychopath who enjoys draining one's blood then I guess you and I can make great friends. I don't really have friends, I mean my girl has friends, but never will I ever call them my friends.

Now you might be asking how can a guy like me have a "girl", but my baby is my only weakness. I talked to her meaning to kill her afterward, but somehow I ended up back at her place and fell asleep between her breasts. Then I decided that I'd keep her around, hell, there's nothing wrong with having a constant in my life but the only thing that I hate about said constant is that she makes me better. The second she leaves my side, I just want to rip someone's head off but her touch stops me.

 **So I take it that you want to get better.**

What makes you think that?

 **Well as you said your girl makes you better and if you don't want to be better, you would've gotten rid of her by now, no?**

I see. We've broken up several times, multiple times a day, week, or month, but we can never stay apart.

 **And why do you think that is?**

Easy. I love her.

 **But she doesn't love you?**

Sometimes she does, other times I know she hates me.

 **And that makes you angry?**

Not really, no. I don't blame her for hating me. I hate me too sometimes.

 **Do you think she hates you because of who you are- more so what you do?**

What, kill? Bonnie, she has no idea.

 **She he no idea?**

What you think I'm going to tell the woman that I love that I enjoy killing people just as much as I enjoy being inside her?

 **I'm sorry, but now in a bit confused. If she has no idea about your..urges, then why does she hate you?**

Because I'm a dick. I don't know you have to ask her. I think she's fucking someone else. She goes out sometimes, dresses more beautiful than when she goes out with me. She says she's hanging out with friends but I don't believe her.

 **And you never followed behind her to see if your theory is correct?**

No.

 **Why not?**

Because I'll kill him.

 **I thought you enjoyed the kill? The draining of one's blood?**

Not if that person makes her happy. Gives her something that I can't, gives her something that I'm missing.

 **And what is it that you think you're missing?**

Her heart.

 **And this other man, you think he has her heart?**

If he doesn't, I don't know who does.

 **Does somebody have to have her heart? Can't she just roam free? And even so, why wouldn't she just leave if this possible other guy has her heart?**

Because I don't let her.

 **I'm sorry I don't understand.**

Have you ever heard of compulsion, Frank? I could just look into those eyes, those emerald green eyes and I tell her I'm sorry and that I didn't mean it and I ask her to take me back and she does. She takes me back then all is right with the world.

 _By this time the room is fogged with swirls of smoke as vampire and man are lost in their thoughts. One with thoughts about lunch and the other trying to fully grasp the situation at hand._

 **Tell me, Mr. Stefan, what exactly is your motive? Why come to therapy, what would you like to gain from this experience?**

I want to gain her heart. I want her to be happy with me and with me only. I don't want her to break up with me anymore, I want her to love me.

 **For one to love you, you must love yourself.**

I don't have time for a self-revelation, I can feel her slipping through my fucking fingers as we speak. If you fail me at this, I will kill you without thinking twice about it.

 **Okay, okay. Just- just take a breath. First thing's first, no more compulsion. You can't take away someone's free will, especially if it's someone who you claim to love.**

What else?

 **You have to tell her.**

So I take it that you want to die.

 **Stefan, if she cannot love you for you then what exactly is the point? Start off by telling her smaller secrets then lead up to it.**

I don't think I can do that.

 **Fine, we'll come back to that later. Another thing, take her out on dates. Every day surprise her with something, something that she loves and cares about because she'll see that you care about her enough to think about such things.**

Alright, I can do that. What else?

 **Our time is up for today, but we'll meet next week and discuss how things are going, how she's acting, how you're acting. Then we'll take it from there.**

 _The men stood and met in the middle with a handshake and as the vampire headed towards the exit, he stopped and turned around._

Don't you dare think about leaving town on me. I will find you and kill your family.

 _Frank swallowed then nodded._

 **: Chapter One :**

Her scent has me high as I lay next to her. She's awake but I'm keeping her under my arm pretending to be asleep because I know the second I let go of her, she'll be up and ready to leave. I just don't understand why I repulse her so much. It doesn't make any sense at all and if I'm honest it hurts my feelings. When I first met Bonnie, I knew there was something different about her. She was smart and tough and unfiltered which was why I have such a connection with her. We talked for hours until she invited me back to her place and I forgot all about killing her at this point. We never made it official, I never call her my girlfriend she doesn't bother calling me her boyfriend but we act like it. We were once claimed to one another, madly in love or so I thought. As time passed she grew distant and there were times that I'd go weeks without hearing from her until we bump into each other randomly at the store or on the street then act like we've seen each other just a day ago and it's back to how things were. It's a never-ending time lapse that I want to get out of because what Frank suspected was right. I do want to get better and she's the only person that can motivate me enough to stop. I don't know what it is about her, but I know that if we break up and she doesn't take me back I just might kill every human that resides in Mystic Falls.

"Do you want me to let you go?"

"Not really,"

"Okay… I love you."

"I love you too."

I sigh because I know it's a lie, I knew she was going to lie, but it's nice to hear sometimes. "I want to take you out on a date maybe for lunch or dinner, whatever you want."

"That sounds nice."

"Can I look at you please?" It takes a beat before she turns around and faces me. I want to kiss her but I don't. "And uh, I have a surprise for you, babe."

"What is it?"

"It's nothing big, I just remembered you saying that you were running out of that face mask that you like so I bought you a few yesterday."

"Really?" I nodded then it felt as if all the blood had drained from my body when her lips first met mine, but I pulled myself together and kissed her back, holding her tiny body so close. "Thank you, baby, that's so sweet."

Looks like Frank can live another day. "I just want you to know that I care and that I listen to you. I love you."

She smiles. "I love you too."

She means it this time and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm beaming from ear to ear right now. I kiss her this time sitting us up only so I could bring her back down below me. We kiss all morning it feels like then she tells me that she needs to get ready. I give her space since things are going well and I don't want to mess it up by coddling her. I know it's wrong, but I listen to her. I open my ears and listen to her every breath, every hum, every whisper to the point where I know I'll turn insane if I don't see her soon, so I stop. I close my ears and get started on breakfast. It's late but not past twelve.

"Oh, babe, I actually have some brunch plans, I'm sorry I should've told you."

"Oh. I thought we could sit together and talk but um if you have plans-"

"Dinner, remember? We can talk during our dinner date. I should, I should go."

"Okay,"

She draws her lips back in a smile then kisses my cheek before turning away from me. As the door closed, I snap. I fling the plates across the room, pound the pancakes with my fist, flip over the table. I need to kill someone.

* * *

The feeling is orgasmic. I always make a note to enjoy my feed rather than feed with anger, it's much more enjoyable that way. Less messy. I watch her body tilt and tilt until she's on the ground lifeless. Her power, her goals, and ambition now run through my veins.

I freeze because I hear her. She's near, close. I look at what I just did and tears of regret stream down my face. I apologize and provide CPR but nothing will save her now. Not even my blood.

"Are you alright, sir?" I hear her ask and I can't help but smile.

"You need any help?"

My smile fades as her lover's voice fills my eardrums. I know that voice. I know who he is and it's taking everything for me to not kill him. "I'm fine."

They stand there for a few seconds longer before walking away whispering. I turn meeting my back against the alley wall and bury my face in my hands. I was right. She is seeing someone else and though I suspected it, it doesn't make it easier for me to accept. I just go home and clean up the mess I made and wait for her return. With every breath I make I contemplate killing myself but I'm not there yet. I hear her come in and lock the door behind her setting her keys and purse down on the kitchen table. She calls out to me but I don't answer, I just lay there until she finds me on the couch. She looks worried about me but doesn't voice it, just lays in front of me and moves my hand to go around her.

"I'm sorry, Stefan. You went through all that trouble and I just left you like that. I'm sorry."

I'm not sure if she's saying that because she thinks it's what I want to hear or if it's because she truly means it. I accept the apology anyway but say nothing else.

"You're mad at me?"

I want to ask her why she cares so much about my feelings when she obviously doesn't even care about my feelings, but I keep quiet letting that be my answer. I feel her turn around to face me and I close my eyes before her eyes met mine and she sighs.

"Stefan?"

I hear starts of her cry but even then I don't open my eyes. How she feels now is how I feel every day and maybe now she'll treat me better.

I actually fall asleep like this and when I wake she's still here asleep herself with her arm around me. Why do I love her?

* * *

"There's this um little vacation just at the Gilbert's lake house for the weekend and I was just wondering if you want to come with me? You know just um...yeah,"

She's nervous. Not exactly sure what for but she is. "When is it?"

"This weekend."

I wait for her to tell me that it's okay if I don't want to go or tell me that it's late notice so she understands if I already had plans because if she does that it means that she really doesn't want me to go, she was just inviting me so I know where she'll be all weekend. But she doesn't say anything else.

"I would love to go."

Her heart's racing as she smiles and I want to compel her and tell her to tell me why she's so nervous but I can't. Damn you, Frank.

"Good." She reaches for her glass of wine and takes more than a sip. "So, why a date all of a sudden?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we never really go out on dates or anything like that. What changed?"

"Nothing really, I just feel you slipping away recently and I don't want you to slip away."

"Oh," she looks down avoiding my eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?" It comes out before I could stop it but I mind as well let it all out now. "I know you're seeing someone else, Bonnie."

"Stefan-"

"You don't have to lie to me."

"It's not what it seems like. My ex he has a problem and I want to help him, okay so I hang with him often just to talk hoping that one day maybe he would stop. I'm not dating him, I swear."

"Then why do I repulse you?"

"What? Stefan, that's ridiculous,"

"You don't love me, Bonnie. Not all the time. I love you all the time. The minute I let go of you, you're off somewhere else. Do you realize that we haven't spent a single day together in months?"

Our food arrives and I now notice that we're still in the restaurant having a conversation that we should be having privately.

"Let me know if you need anything," our waiter says before leaving.

"Just tell me this, Bonnie." I wait until she looks up at me. "Do you really want to be with me? Because if you don't I'll let you go. I won't fight for you, I won't get you to change your mind. I'll leave you alone forever if you tell me."

"I want to be with you, Stefan. I promise."

"Then I don't- I don't want you to see him anymore. He's not your problem."

"Okay,"

It's quiet now and a part of me feels bad that I told her to stop helping someone because I need her to focus on helping me, but I don't regret it. He isn't her problem anymore and for all I know, he could just be using this as an excuse to sneak back into her life. I won't allow that to happen.

After dinner, we go to her place which I haven't seen in a while since she's always over my place. I watch her undress then slide a slip up her body then come to me. She hovers over me and we look into each other's eyes before she kisses me. I run my hands up her silk slip touching her soft skin.

"Can you be mine tonight, Stefan?"

"I'll always be yours," I tell her against her lips before kissing her some more.

She sits up and removes the lingerie and takes off my shirt and goes to the zipper of my pants but I stop her and gently turn her over and position my head between her legs. Her heart starts to race as I place kisses along her inner thighs and I want to bite her so bad but it isn't a good idea right now.

* * *

It's the first time that I ever wake up smiling. Our noses pressed together, her naked body close to mine, my hand in her hair. We fell asleep kissing and I guess never moved throughout the night. She wakes up shortly letting out a breath through her nose before a smile appears on her face.

"Good morning."

"Good morning." I kiss her twice. "Do I need to let go of you soon?"

She smiles. "No." She kisses me. "Although we do need to pack for tomorrow,"

"Don't tell me you'll pack twenty outfits for two days."

She chuckles. "I have to, I need options."

I just shake my head at her making her smile. "I have a surprise for you."

"Another one?"

"Yes, another one." I smile. "I just have to give it to you later because I only want to hold you right now."

She nods and closes her eyes as I pull her in. "I love you."

My heart stops. She never says it first. "I love you too."

"You were right, Stefan. I have been distant and I'm sorry. From now on I'll be there standing by your side. I promise."

I kiss her head and if I wasn't scared I would tell her the truth about me, but I need to enjoy her for as long as I can. I have not a doubt that I will lose her once she knows the truth so I'm going to drag it out for as long as possible.

I wrap my other arm around her then turn us over making her laugh some but I cover her mouth with mine, kissing her like I haven't been kissed in years. She moans, her leg wraps around me, her hands enter my hair as she kisses me back. She uses her power to flip us over then plants herself on my dick and rocks. I can't help but curse watching her, she's so fucking beautiful and sexy and amazing, I got so damn lucky.

* * *

I step behind her reaching for nothing but I pretend I was just to be in this position. She smiles then turns her head towards me and kisses me. I turn her, kissing her more before she pulls away and tells me that she needs to finish packing. I kiss her once then move away slowly keeping eye contact with her as she bites down on her lip watching me.

"Are we gonna have a room to ourselves?" I ask still backing away— a little part of me hoping that she follows.

"Possibly. Why do you ask?" She starts moving toward me and I smile.

"I just want to know if I'll be able to...hold you all night without making anyone uncomfortable,"

"If we don't, we'll just find somewhere else to sleep."

I grab her pulling her in. "I like the way you think." She smiles and I kiss her. "So how many outfits did my girlfriend pack?" Her heart immediately races and I know I may have scared her but I need to know how she would react to such a word.

"How many outfits does her boyfriend think she packed?"

We share a smile but I kiss her letting that be my answer. "I love you."

"I love you too." She kisses me. "I will always love you."

Again, another opportunity to spill my secret but I can't. Not when everything is going so perfectly well, I can't ruin it. "Let me marry you,"

She smiles. "I'm too young to be married, but ask me in a few more years."

"I promise I will."

We kiss some more then she steps out of my hold to return to the task at hand.

* * *

I immediately regret agreeing to go because blood is everywhere. I'm for sure going to annoy Bonnie this weekend because I'm scared of what I'll do without her. She vaguely looks over at me as I accidentally squeezed her hand on the way to our room and I'm glad that shouldn't comment on it. I hear him calling out her name through the music and luckily she doesn't hear and keeps leading the way. When we realized that we'd be sharing a room, we put our stuff down and went to look for another sleeping location and since Bonnie has been to this place hundreds of times she has a spot in mind. I chuckle when she walks us into a closet, pushed some clothes away then opened a secret door and surprisingly it was a nice space.

"What do you think?"

"I think we'll suffocate, but it'll be worth it."

She chuckled then sighed. "This is a little much, isn't it?"

"Uhh, kind of, yeah. But, we can have our sexy times in here." I add kissing her. "You know I was really turned on at how you were leading me today."

She smiled enjoying my lips on her neck. "Yeah?"

We hear Caroline call out her name so decide to leave and look for her. When we do find her, she gives me a look signaling that I need to leave for a few minutes, but I can't. Too many bodies.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Uh, do you think we can talk in private? No offense, Stefan it's something a little personal."

My head is pounding as Bonnie looks over at me. She kisses me then I feel her fingers slipping away ready to follow after Caroline, but I squeeze my fingers. She bounces back then looks over at me with narrowed eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I just- I-"

"Stefan, what's wrong?"

Tell her. Tell her now! This isn't a good place once she runs away and screams, I'll kill more than just a few, I'll kill them all. "Nothing. I'll tell you later."

She doesn't believe me, but Caroline shouts for her again forcing her to go. My heart pounds and sounds of pumping hearts are all that I can hear. Blood. Oh, _fuck_ , the blood, the wonderful blood. I salivate just thinking about the blood and my dick hardens like I'm seeing Bonnie naked. Bonnie. She'll be devastated, but I'll hide the bodies, that way she won't know. Yeah, I'll hide them.

Walking in my state is very uncomfortable, but I need to find the right one. It's all so good, but one scent is just calling out to me. I close my eyes and isolate the sound and I head left, fifty paces and there she is. Hair already in a bun like she knew I was coming and wanted to make this as comfortable as possible. How sweet. I walk up to her.

"Hey, I'm Stefan."

"Francine, nice to meet you."

We shake hands. "So how do you know Elena?"

"I don't, actually, not very much anyway, I came somewhat as a plus one to my friend right over there."

I follow her finger and now I know who I'm killing next. "I was just wondering if you would like to go somewhere with me," I look into her eyes as she looks into mine.

"I would love to."

I smile. "Great. Follow m—"

"Stefan?"

I still hearing Bonnie then turn my head towards her. "Hey, I was just talking to Francine."

"I can see that." She folds her arms then looks down and oh fuck, I'm still hard.

"Baby-"

"Whatever, Stefan."

"Wait," I reach out and grab her. "I just wanted to distract myself, that's why I didn't want you to leave me because," I grab her ass in my hands, "I wanted you, you know our moment was kind of interrupted. So I wanted a distraction but I couldn't stop thinking about you." I kiss her neck.

"That's bullshit and you know it."

I chuckle. "Alright, but I swear the boner wasn't because of her."

"Then what was it because of?"

"Blood."

She looks at me then shortly sighs dismissing what I just said. "Come on,"

"Where?"

"You're still hard, are you not? Or does only blood make you soften now?"

She's mad at me and yet wants to fuck me. Whatever Caroline told her must've been serious and she needed to let out some steam. That or she'll leave me with blue balls. I let her lead me again to our spot and I'm glad it wasn't the latter.

* * *

Slowly she rises, slowly and falls embedded in me. It's as dark as ever in this closet when we decided to try it with the lights off and for some reason, I find this well a lot sexier. Maybe it's the fact that I can still see her and she could barely see my eyes. She touches herself, something that she rarely does, but she's grabbing herself with no shame and a part of me feels bad for watching, but now I know where I need to grab her. Her breasts she squeezes and I'm not sure if she's picturing me doing it or not, but I soon take over, moving her hands away and grab her full breasts in my hands and she moans loudly tilting her head back and she comes barely breathing my name. I lay her down and fuck her quick until I come, but I'm still hard and she's asleep. I slip on my clothes and find Francine and her friend.

* * *

Inside my lids are no longer black but a weird orange knowing that Bonnie switched on the light. I open my eyes coming faced with her legs and I look up seeing her naked against the side wall. I sit up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I sit up some more to kiss her a few times. "What did Caroline say?"

She exhaled. "Just that my ex is here, you know the one that I told you about. He was looking for me earlier."

"Did you talk to him?"

"Only for a little. I told him that I couldn't help him the way I have been anymore and now I'm scared."

"Why?"

"What if he hurts himself then it'll be my fault,"

"But it won't be. He needs to learn how to change on his own. Sometimes the best thing that you can do for a person is leaving and let them figure it out for themselves." I'm a huge hypocrite, but it's true.

"I know, it's just hard." I sigh then hold her close to me, resting my head on her chest. "What if I told you that I'm pregnant?"

I freeze. Pregnant? I know I can't be the father. "Who's the father?"

"Did you seriously just ask me that question?"

"What?"

"Do you really believe that I would sleep with someone else?" She pushed me away.

"You were so worried about him and talking about comforting him, it's not a crazy idea to think."

"Fuck you, Stefan."

"Bonnie do you not remember it how I remember? We would go months without seeing each other at times, you would always dress better when you hung out with your friends yet when you went out with me, you put in no effort. I cook for you, you leave me like you don't even care."

"Stefan,"

"We literally just called each other boyfriend and girlfriend yesterday. So sorry if I didn't believe that in any of our time apart you didn't do anything."

I reach out finding clothes wanting to escape and she does nothing to stop me. I hate that we're having this argument here if all places because another two bodies will be go—

"Wait, Stefan. You're right. I'm sorry." I wait for her to continue. "I'm not pregnant, I don't know why I even said that."

"What do you want from me, Bonnie?"

She's silent and it's deafening.

"I don't know,"

* * *

I watch her jump in the pool crowded with other people and since she's near enough I don't wander off to look for another meal. Surprisingly I'm still quite full.

I know it's wrong, but every time I sense her starting to look in my direction, I turn away to look somewhere else. It hurts to do that, but she can't get used to disrespecting me without me showing some type of consequence. As soon as she looks away, I look back at her sad face and just stare.

"Stefan, right?"

I look over and see that it's the ex. Elijah.

"That's right."

"I just wanted to extend my thanks. Bonnie has been really taking care of me these past few weeks, I know how difficult it must be without her."

Is he serious right now? Coming up to me and spitting on my face like that? He wants me to kill him, he's begging for it.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it."

"She told me about your discussion."

"Look, I don't know what you plan to get out of this conversation, but let me tell this, Bonnie is mine. That's how it is and that's how it will be. She comes home to me, she loves me, she fucks me, so how about you go find someone who actually wants you." I stand and grab Bonnie once I'm in the pool to make out with her. I grab her and she grabs me.

I don't waste a glance on Elijah. He's not worth an ounce of my time.

"What was that for?"

"I was a jerk to you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby."

She smiled loosely circling her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry too, but I forgive you." She bit down on her lower lip as I grabbed her ass. "And this has nothing to do with you talking to Elijah?"

"Who?"

She smiled then leaned in kissing me some more before pulling me into a hug. I smell her blood to tie me over then go back to focusing on hugging her. We pull away after a few seconds and I suggest a shower so she tags along. Showering with Bonnie is something that I haven't done in awhile. If I wasn't so busy on spoiling her, I would've fucked her but like I said, I was hellbent on making sure she was fresh and clean and massaged. She scrubbed my ass though. Literally, and held her laugh while doing so. She's so fucking cute.

"Babe, guess what?"

"What?" I hold her face.

"I got us our own room."

"What, how?"

"I hired a hitman. He took 'em out an hour ago."

"Does that mean free clothes?"

She gasped. "It does. I call the girl clothes!" She walked away.

"Damnit."

She giggled and I follow after her into out now private room. I honestly wonder how she got rid of the other couple but knowing Bonnie she probably just paid them. There's not an evil bone in her body. Speaking of body, I need her. I start kissing her neck knowing that's a weak spot and soon she's practically melting into my arms. "Which bed do you want to do it on? The people that you had killed or ours?"

She cracks a smile. "I'm feeling a little naughty today,"

I have my answer.

* * *

I'm taking her from behind when some idiot knocks on the door and before I could tell them to fuck off, Bonnie reaches her orgasm and a deep sound roars in the back of her throat to hold it in but that does nothing but have me let it out inside her. I pinch her nipples and her arms give out, plopping right onto the bed. I take mercy on her by turning her around and kissing her mouth. Knocking sounds again reminding he that someone's at the door which I didn't care to begin with.

"What?"

"We have a little situation." It's Caroline.

"And by little you mean huge and you're internally freaking out, am I correct?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

I freeze. What of she found the bodies?

"Give me a sec, I just got out the shower."

"And by that you mean you just got finished fucking your boyfriend so you have to put on clothes, am I correct?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

I couldn't stop my chuckle. I quickly get dressed and open the door letting the blonde inside. I don't know why she doesn't like me and the only reason I know that is because she barely pays attention to me at all and goes straight to Bonnie whispering. I could just listen in, but I want to see if Bonnie will fill me in or not. I watch them then she suddenly looks up at me with worried eyes before looking back at Caroline. Now I'm listening in.

"He's lying."

"This is real, Bon. You have to do it soon or else... I don't even want to think about it."

"Maybe I can talk-"

"You're running out of time."

She walks away then leaving Bonnie standing there alone. I follow her out with my eyes then turn back to Bonnie wondering what in the hell is going on.

"What was that about?"

"I need to leave,"

"Whoa, hey, where are you going?"

"I need some air,"

She rushes past me and I follow after but there it goes again. It felt like I ran into a wall and blood knocked right into me. Holy fuck the blood. I salivate, my fangs lengthen but I force my mouth shut and my fangs cutting into my the back of my lip snaps me out of it. I force my ears to listen for Bonnie and for Bonnie only and I follow it.

"Bonnie, baby," I grab her arm turning her towards me. I pull her in close to my chest and finally my fans retract back into my gums.

"Why are you hard?" She starts to laugh and I couldn't help but join her.

"Your ass in these shorts, babe."

"You're such a horn dog."

"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay."

"What did Caroline say?"

"Elijah's...being unfair, to say the least."

"Let me handle it,"

"No, I know you, you'll make it worse no offense."

"Tell me what to do,"

"Just hold me."

I lifted her in my arms and carried her back into our room. I lock the door behind us then crawl on the bed.

"Stefan?"

"Yeah?"

"What if you were forced to do something that you really didn't want to do but if you don't do it, people suffer? Including yourself,"

"It depends on what the thing is. If it's something serious I'll try to think of another way and only do the thing I don't want to as a last resort. Or try to talk it out with the people who are going to get hurt and get their opinions although that may not be much help because I'm sure their views would all be the same. You have options and because I don't know specifically what's going on, I can't help you like I want to."

"You've helped me more than you think." She sighs.

"You know I'll always be there for you, right?"

She nodded, "I know."

I kiss her once then pull her to my chest. "I love you."

"I have to use the bathroom."

She gets up and just walks away. She didn't say it back. And it's not like she just smiled but she replied with something you say to avoid the statement I made. I'm cold feeling my heart break and I fall back on the bed and stare up at the sky. Everything was going so well. I thought we improved— I know we did, but somehow that all went out the window. She doesn't care.

* * *

 **A/N: So this is sort of/ kind of my newest story for you all. I had this queued for quite some time but I recently finished it so I decided to post if for you. Leave a review letting me know your thoughts and why you think Bonnie is so hot and cold with Stefan. Is it because of Elijah possibly harming himself or does it go deeper than that...?**


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know what happened. It was in a flash, one moment she was happy and in love with me then the next she avoids me. She left the party and encouraged me to stay and I did in hope that she would figure that I left the show up again, but that never happened. I call her and I'm only left with her voicemail.

What did I do wrong? I was on my best behavior, I only killed two people in a crowd of one hundred. Even after she left, I stayed strong for her and I get nothing in return.

 **I hate to say this, Stefan, but do you ever think that maybe Bonnie isn't the one for you? That maybe she's only there to cause you pain? Give you joy for a few hours but in the next snatch it all away?**

No. She will never do that to me.

 **But she has, Stefan, that's the point. You can't force someone to love you, they have to figure that out on their own. Maybe she doesn't love herself. Like I told you in our first session, it's hard to love someone else if you don't love yourself.**

But why wouldn't she love herself?

 **That's a personal thing that only she can know.**

So what do you suggest?

 **I suggest that you move on and wait until she's ready to love you. Or don't wait, but live your life as non-criminally as possible and I'm sure that you'll find someone else.**

No one can ever replace her.

 **And I get that, and maybe that's the point. Do you honestly want a replacement of Bonnie? Someone who will love you one second and flip their switch in the next? And I know you love her, so I'm being polite here,**

 _I have to close my eyes because I can't look at anything right now. I just need the dark, the swirls of Amber behind my lids._

I'm sorry for threatening you and your family. You're the only friend that I have, I shouldn't have done that.

 **I forgive you.**

Do you have any friends for me? Maybe I just need some friends,

 **No one comes to mind at the moment who I think you'll bond with, but I'll think of someone.**

* * *

I really shouldn't be here, but I am. Parked outside her house in a rental so she wouldn't recognize my car and know that I'm spying on her. She's not home so It doesn't even matter anyway. I'm just bored. I haven't gotten a name back from Frank yet and I'm stopping a part of me from believing that he was lying to me when he said he'd think of someone for me.

It makes a clank as I slam the glass on the wooden bar. As soon as I saw Bonnie pulling in, I left. I didn't and don't want to know who would be getting out of the car with her. I can tell she was with someone else, she wasn't playing any music and I remember on one of our rare times together she told me how she doesn't like playing the radio with people in the car because it's rude. I just remember smiling at her, dying to kiss her, but I knew that she would move her head away to avoid my lips. She always did at the time, that is until I grabbed her face and forced one on her. She didn't complain and in fact, she kissed me back like she's been needing my lips just as much as I've been needing hers. I relive that memory in my head a hundred times over before leaving.

"Hey! Hey, excuse me!"

I stop and turn to see a woman chasing after me and I wait for her to catch up. "You forgot this,"

I narrow my eyes when she hands me a napkin but I look down and realize that this was all just a pickup trick, for the napkin had her name and number on it. I chuckle then look up at her. "Nice one,"

She shrugs, "Thanks,"

"So I'll uh, I'll call you. I'm Stefan by the way,"

"Nice to meet you, Stefan," she smiles then turns around heading back to the bar.

I walk backward for a few then turn around only to come to a halt. "Bonnie,"

"Who was that?"

"Tiffany,"

She nods. "So you're just gonna see someone else without talking to me?"

"Without talking to you? Bonnie, I've called you a hundred times and not once have you picked up the phone. I don't understand why you even care, you treat me like a dog- no, you treat me like shit. You don't even want to be with me, so how about you do me a favor and leave me the hell alone."

I stand my ground only to crumble seconds later when she cries. Fuck, I made her cry.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean it, I take it back, I'm sorry, I love you." I hold her and she holds me back and I hold her even tighter. "I didn't mean it, I promise."

"You did mean it,"

"No, I didn't, I swear I didn't. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I kiss her head. "Let me take you to my place, okay? I'll- I'll make it up to you." I pull slightly away to wipe away her tears.

I have to carry her to get her to move, but she doesn't protest.

* * *

By the time I wake up she's gone and my heart is more shattered than before. I fell for it. Her game, her sick game, I fell right into her hands and she got me good. Not even a note and I don't smell her either meaning she left a long time ago and I'm just the fool who trusted her and forgave her in an instant. I'm hungry.

I meet up with Tiffany who I don't necessarily want to kill, but if things don't flow between us then I just might. She's pretty, beautiful even, and I want things to work, I need them to. She smiles at me once we make eye contact and I head to the table she's sitting at and hug her when she stands. She feels nice. Smells good.

"I have to be honest, I didn't expect you to call me,"

"Why wouldn't I?"

She smiles shyly, "I don't know, I guess because it was my first time ever doing something like that. I'm not usually a chaser, I have no idea what I'm doing." She chuckles and I smile back.

"Well for your first time, you really peaked my interest." She smiles. "You have really beautiful eyes,"

"Thank you. I get that a lot, people say they're my best feature,"

"What about me, what's mine?"

She chuckled then lets out a breath looking at my face. "I love your eyes as well but to be original, I would say your smile."

That caused me to smile and her to laugh, pushing some hair behind her ear.

"I don't really smile often,"

"Not that surprised," she winked, "but you should."

"It's kind of hard when life's a bitch."

"True. But you must have some happy times, no?"

"More bad than good lately. I uh, I'm kind of seeing someone but we're basically broken up at the same time."

"How so?"

"Bonnie is- it's like I repulse her. She can stand me for a few hours but once that's over, it's over and I don't hear from her in months and if I'm lucky weeks."

"Wow,"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to bring up my issues. That's what therapy's for,"

She lightly chuckled. "Well it's great you're going to therapy and I don't mind talking about past relationships. It's a topic that always seems to sneak its way in some way or how." I look down at her hand when it topped mine. "If you want to talk to anyone but your therapist, I'm here. I promise."

My spine is frozen as I walk home. That promise she made me, I felt it, I knew she meant it because her eyes told me she did. Her honest eyes told me that she one hundred percent meant it. I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to bring her home and fuck her, but I didn't. She's different and fuck, I just might be in love with her.

...

I stare at my phone because Bonnie texted me and apologized for leaving saying that she got an important call and had to leave. She tells me that she kissed me on the cheek and adds a smile at the end. I suddenly feel like I betrayed her like I cheated on her, and I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I hate it.

 _Can I come over?_

Yes.

* * *

I convinced myself that I wasn't in the wrong on the way over which is why Bonnie doesn't know about my date nor will she ever. I kiss her neck then her lips, sitting her on the countertop as I stand between her legs. Her hands run through my hair and I hold her closer, kissing her deeper.

"Baby," I pull away breathing, "what's the best feature on my face?"

"Your nose."

"My nose?"

"Yes, I love it. Especially when you rub your nose against mine before you kiss me." I smile and do just that having her smile in the kiss. "What about me?"

"Your lips."

She bites the bottom one then our mouths meet again until we're all kissed out. We snuggle on her couch and she turns on Cartoon Network and we laugh together. This is the most normal that I have ever felt and it's no surprise that I'm with the love of my life. She's the love of my life.

Bonnie falls asleep in my arms and I stay awake afraid that I'll wake up alone again. I just enjoy her and her soul.

...

We go for a walk and a part of me is scared that we'll bump into Tiffany but so far I've been lucky. I don't want to hurt her feelings and I don't want to push her to the side for Bonnie because I really do like her and at the same time, I don't want to use her as somewhat of a rebound. She deserves better than that.

"What's on your mind?" I heard Bonnie wonder.

"Nothing too important," I shrug. "Just in my head."

"Well if you need to talk about it, I'm here."

I look into her eyes to see if I'll see the same look I saw in Tiffany's, but she looks away and keeps walking, holding my hand. I try to not think much of it. After our walk, we head to my place and fuck. Long, prolonged fucking, amazing and something within me knew that things would never be the same between us after this. What that exactly means, I don't know, but a part of me is ready.

I wake up to her left arm and leg around the side of my body. I smile and hug her back hearing my phone alert me that's got a new text. I know that it's more than likely Tiffany but I'll respond later. Her phone rings and it's enough to wake her. She whines but rolls over answering. I don't listen in, only wait for her to start packing so she could leave me. I watch her as she does so with her ear still pressed to the phone with the help of her shoulder. She's barely doing any talking and I'm curious to know who's on the other line, but she tells whomever it was that she'll be there.

"Sorry, babe, I have to go but I'll call you later."

Lies.

"Okay,"

She kisses me then is out the door. I'm pretty hungry and currently struggling with if I should eat or call Tiffany and then I remembered that she texted me. I grab my phone, unlock it, then read it.

 _Hey, Stefan, it's Tiffany, I was wondering if you would like to be my date tonight at this art gallery opening. I know it's last minute but I'll appreciate it if you can._

I call her. "Hey, I would love to be your date. What time and what should I wear?"

"It's at nine and I can pick you up if you want or you can pick me up or drive there yourself. I'm a pretty fast driver so I can get us there if you live far,"

"I'll text you my address,"

She chuckled. "And I'm wearing red so anything to match that should be fine."

"Okay, great. I'll see you later."

"Bye,"

"Bye."

I hang up then decide to get someone to eat. I want to be good for her and not drain someone at the party so I'll get my meal in now.

* * *

I open the door to her and eye her body in that two piece. The red skirt long and flowy and the top tight, sucking in and lifting her breasts. A patch of her tanned skin just waiting for me to touch in the space between. "Wow, you look amazing, beautiful."

Bonnie never dresses up like this for me so I don't even know how to react but I guess I should start by not staring at her. She smiles and I take notice of her dark lip and slicked back hair. Damn, she's even more beautiful than what I remember.

"Thank you, you look amazing in a suit."

I kiss her temple then take her hand leading her to her car and though I'm not driving I open the driver's side door for her. Once I get buckled in, we're off and I take notice of the slit that's in her skirt. It's very high and her leg is exposed to me and if this were Bonnie I would grab it, but I don't want to overstep. Maybe on the way back depending on how she acts around me.

She leans in and turns up the radio some and I take that as a sign that I need to get out of my head and actually talk to her. "So, you're an art lover?"

"Something like that. My mom's a painter and I used to paint,"

"Why did you stop?"

"School just got in the way. I mean I paint every now and again, but definitely not as much as I used to. I miss it, honestly."

"What are you going to school for?"

"History major. I want to be a teacher."

"Really?" She nods. "That's great."

"What about you?"

"I've been to college got degrees but I just don't use them,"

"Why not?"

"I don't know I mean at the end of the day it's somewhat pointless. I mean you want to be a teacher which I wouldn't classify as pointless, but I know that I can walk into some sort of an elite computer or whatever company, say I'm self-taught, show them my work and skills and they'll think about hiring me just as much as the guy before me with a degree."

"As sad as it is, that's very true."

"But I am a history nut. It's my favorite subject."

"Really, what do you like about it?"

"I love all the dates and inventions and people. I was always great at history, even as a little kid."

"Well if you play your cards right, I just might let you be my teaching assistant." She looks over at me and smiles and I smile back making her giggle some.

"You're so fucking cute."

She's stopped at a light and looks over at me and I know that look. I lean in following her move and our lips meet just once and I'm sure it's because she's wearing lipstick. We pull away as the light changes to green and as she hits the gas, I move my hand to her leg.

...

The opening was actually great, I had a fun time with her. She introduced me to her friends who seemed like decent people then I briefly met her mother and after that, we just stayed with ourselves. Looking at the art as she informed me on the background and asked my opinion on everything if it wasn't obvious. We snuck in a few kisses, but one of those I heard a flash so I'm pretty sure one of the photographers took our picture. We ate mainly cheese and grapes, occasionally feeding each other and for the second time today I felt normal.

We go to her place when the party's over and she cooks for me and we eat at the table playing footsie and talking about our lives and the art.

She takes a shower and I use the time to look around for a bit. She doesn't seem crazy and she doesn't keep anything in her house to make me assume that she is. I loosen my tie and head upstairs and walk into her room seeing her dressed in a robe.

"If you want to stay over, I like to sleep in really baggy clothes so I'm sure something will fit you. But if not I can call an Uber."

"No, I would like to stay, if that's okay with you."

She nods and I walk up to her and hold her and kiss her like I've wanted to all night. She pushes me away and my eyes move down to see her taking away the knot in her robe then pushes me towards her bed. Once I'm looking up at her she removes her robe completely and she's perfect. I tell her she's perfect before I kiss her and roll her to her back. I kiss down her chest before meeting her lips again.

...

I loved the way she came for me. I loved the feeling of her around me, the feeling of her touch. I loved her lips and her sinister smile as she rode me. Her breasts, her stomach, and ass, I fell in love with.

"Good morning,"

I kiss her. "Good morning," again.

"Last night was great,"

"I couldn't agree more," I run my hand alongside her naked body. "What do you say I make you breakfast,"

"Yeah?"

"And then we go to the park,"

"Mhmm…"

"And I take you back to my place and we eat lunch and you'll stay for dinner and spend the night."

"Hmmm, okay."

I laugh a little and she moved her arms around my neck. "I love seeing you happy," she kisses me and I kiss her back.

"You make me happy." I hold her close and kiss her neck. "You make me really happy."

"You make me really happy too." She caresses the side of my face. "I just want to ask you a question and it may ruin things but I need to know,"

"What is it?"

"Are we like committed? I mean I know that we just met and I wouldn't be asking this so soon if there wasn't another woman in the picture."

"Bonnie,"

"Yeah, and I really, really like you, Stefan. I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't and I can see my future self loving you, but I don't want to get my hopes up if you're just going to ditch me for Bonnie whenever she calls."

"I get it." I sigh. "I wish I could give you an answer, but I don't know myself. I can see myself loving you and being committed to you but Bonnie I- I already love her." She nods. "I ruined it, didn't I?"

She weakly smiles. "Would I be stupid if I say no?"

I smile and she does so back rolling on top of me.

* * *

I can feel her eyes admiring me as I cook for her. I can feel her smile burning through my back and this feeling is very different. When I cook for Bonnie she's never around. either upstairs asleep or showering or getting ready and if it was anything like last time she wouldn't even eat it.

"I can feel your staring, you know?" I say just to poke fun.

She laughs. "I'm sorry, babe,"

"Don't apologize, I kind of like it," I turn to her smiling and she laughs running a hand through her hair, pushing it back some only for it to fall right back to place. She bites her lip at me. "Where do you keep your sugar?"

She stands to show me which I was hoping for and reaches for it in a cabinet. I hold her from behind and kiss her neck.

"Thank you, baby,"

"You're welcome," she kissed me. "This smells amazing… Can I taste?"

"No, you have to wait,"

"Pretty please?" She turned in my arms wrapping hers around my neck and meets our foreheads.

I look into her eyes the best I could then sigh. "Fine." She smiles then kisses me before pulling away some. I cut her a slice of my special French toast and added a piece of strawberry to it and a half of squirt of whipped cream, syrup and powdered sugar. She chuckles and I hold the fork up to her mouth. She watches me as the flavors hit her tongue then her eyes close making sounds of delight.

"Damn this is good, delicious and I typically hate whipped cream."

"Then why do you buy it, silly?"

She smiles, "Because my friends like it and if they crave it, I can whip it out."

I shake my head at her then move in to kiss her, but her phone rings. She walks over to check who it is.

"I have to take this, I should be back by the time you're finished cooking." I nod. "Hello?" She walks away and I return to cooking and when I'm done and she isn't back yet so I set the table then she arrives. "Let me guess, you have to leave,"

"What, no, you worked so hard, I won't just leave you like that." She reaches out her hand meeting the side of my face and offers me a small smile.

I meet our foreheads holding her tight then let out an exhale through my nose. "You're exactly what I need."

"You promise?"

"I promise." I kiss her twice and hold her a little longer before we eat.

...

Her laugh is contagious and all I want to do is make her laugh because her eyes shine like the sun. She's beautiful, so beautiful and bright and I— "I love you." Shit.

Her eyes widen but she smiles. "Oh do you now?"

"So what if I did?"

"Then," she wrapped her leg around me, "I'll just have to kiss you senseless."

I grab her as she does so and flip us over, taking more control. I then realize that we're at a public park with children around, so I steady things to a halt.

"I think I might just love you too."

I smile and kiss her again calmly twice. "Let's go to my place,"

She nods and I take her hand helping her up then grab the blanket we were laying on. I pretend that I didn't see Bonnie as I pulled off and kept my attention on the woman I loved who was in my car. When we arrive, I show her around then we head upstairs to my room where I immediately lay down the picture I have framed of Bonnie and me. It was on my dresser so I hope she didn't notice.

"Your place is huge,"

"It needs to be for all the ladies." That earns me a head shake and eye roll. I chuckle and hold her from behind. "Kidding,"

"You better."

"Do I sense jealous-ness?"

"So what if you did?"

I turn her and meet our foreheads. "You have nothing to worry about." I lift her legs around my waist and hold her ass, walking us to my bed.

"I have a secret," she tells me once we're laying.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I want to,"

"Then what's holding you back?"

"Fear."

"Don't be scared of me, babe." I pull her into my chest.

"No, it's not you I'm scared of it's just I'm scared of myself to get so… I don't know, vulnerable with you because you're still in love with Bonnie and that's fine but I know how happy she makes you too. I could see it in the photos."

I sighed. "I'm-"

"If you were going to apologize, don't. I hate to keep bringing this up but maybe I'm not as OK as I thought with this,"

"Baby don't- don't do this, please. You're actually here for me, Bonnie is never here for me, you make me happy and yes, she does too, but she always tears it away."

"Then I don't understand, why are you with her in the first place? Forget about me, but she doesn't sound like a good person."

"Because for whatever reason, when I am with her, I didn't feel like the monster I am."

"You're not a monster, Stefan." She caresses the side of my face. "I promise you're not."

I exhale and meet our foreheads. "This is our thing now. I only do this with you." She smiles and moves in closer to me.

She kisses me and that's all I need to want her.

* * *

I've never smiled during sex but T has me doing a lot of that. When I kiss her and pull away, she's smiling causing me to smile. Her neck is her weak spot so anytime I kiss her there, she giggles making me chuckle. She talks to me as she rides me, how happy she is and how good and satisfying I feel. Little cuss words fall in a whisper and a cry awakens as I grab her hips with strength.

I flip us over as she comes and continue within her and faster once she grabs my hair calling out my name. Her legs spread wider and the beast inside me growls and my hips only stop as I stiffen. I pull out and roll beside her.

"That was amazing," she crawls on top of me and I palm her breasts.

"You want more?" I sit up some and lick along her neck.

She moans. "Yes please,"

...

We wake up to each other naked and well rested. We smile at each other and kiss before getting up. I look over my shoulder seeing her stretch her arms then slips on my shirt before standing finding her panties. I get up and slip on some sweatpants and grab her hand leading us downstairs to the kitchen. It's nine PM so I asked her if she minded leftovers and luckily she didn't. I heat us up some pasta but make fresh garlic bread. She turns on a record and hums and sways and I soon join her holding her from behind and her hands cover mine.

"What do you know about The Beatles?"

"I would act like I loved them since childbirth but at one point they were so mainstream that I studied up on them, listened to literally every song and wore their merch for the longest time just to fit in." I chuckled. "Little did I know, no one actually knew anything about them, they were just following a trend. Like Nirvana."

"Don't even get me started,"

She laughs and I twirl her to meet our chests. My phone rings and I sigh but get it and frown when I see it's Bonnie. Maybe she wants to yell at me for this afternoon or maybe not and I know I shouldn't, but I answer it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Stefan?"

"Yes?"

"I need you."

"What?"

"I- I need you."

My heart is pounding because this has never happened before. She doesn't call me first, she doesn't say anything to me first but tonight she needs me. "Right now?"

I hear her low sigh. "Never mind,"

"Wait, wait," I look behind me glad that Tiffiny isn't watching. "I'm just- I have- I-"

"I understand. Bye."

"Wait." I pause to see if she hung up and I'm relieved when I don't hear the beeping. "Where are you?"

"You have company, it's okay."

"No, I want to come. Please tell me where you are. I'm coming,"

She sniffs in. "I don't know where I am."

"What?"

"I'm in this cabin, I was just driving and I just- I'm scared."

"Baby, don't- I'm coming, okay, I will find you."

"How?"

"Just tell me which direction you were heading,"

"Um, west."

"Okay, I'm coming for you, I promise. Okay?"

"Okay,"

I end the call then grab my things ignoring Tiffiny as I did so, but once I'm done, I go to her. "I'm sorry that I have to do this, but I have to go."

"Is everything okay?"

"No, it's not, I- I'm sorry, I have to go."

I leave her and get in my car, drive to Bonnie's place then start west. My heart is pounding, I'm so worried about my baby, she needs me, she's scared and I'm the person she called. Not Elijah or Caroline, me. She loves me, she has to know it now that she truly loves me because I'm the one that can make her feel safe.

I come across this long, empty road and I have a feeling that I'm near. I can see why she's scared and I start to wonder what was on her mind so much that it caused her to get this lost.

I'm relieved when I see her car so I pull over and look inside it, but it's empty. She said she's in a cabin, so I run until I find one about a mile out. "Bonnie?"

"Stef?"

I rush to her and hold her pressed against my body. I missed her and her short stature and curvy frame. I hug her closer then lift her legs around my waist so she could hold me better.

"Baby, don't do this again, you had me so worried about you,"

"Sorry,"

"Are you okay, are you hurt?" I pull away to look at her face.

"No, I'm fine."

I sigh watching her then meet our lips, kissing my favorite lips on this planet. Her hands dig into my hair, kissing me back.

"I wasn't lying when I said I needed you." She pulled away.

I stare into her eyes before removing her shirt and she places her feet on the ground so she could undress me. I kiss her at any given chance before we connect and I just stare into her eyes as she stares into mine and her arm goes around my neck, never breaking contact. She massages my scalp before she pulls then switches our positions with her on top. She places my hands on her waist and I keep them there, tightening as she leans in towards me. Her body is so fucking perfect, no one can compare. She comes meeting our lips causing our kiss to be sloppy, but I kiss her more anyway as she starts up again until I come.

I hold her against me when she pulls out and lays beside me. "Thank you for coming,"

"I'll do anything for you." I kiss her once catching up on my breaths as does she.

We fall asleep after getting dressed again and wake up basically at the same time. She kisses me, making my heart slow but I grab her anyway just to have her near. "Baby, I missed you so much,"

"Really?"

"Yes. I always miss you."

"But you're dating someone else,"

"That doesn't change the way I feel about you." I run my hand down her hair. "I will never stop loving you."

"I love you,"

I hold her placing my head in the crook of her neck. "You have no idea what it does to me when you say that." I start kissing up her neck. "I should get you home,"

"My car ran out of gas,"

"Mines didn't. Come on,"

She takes my hand and we walk out together and start walking. I start to wish that I just drove until I saw the cabin, but I take pleasure in holding her hand and walking with her. We reach the cars and she checks her for any valuables before getting into mine. We hold hands the entire ride then I have to go get someone to tow it to a gas station. Of course, that takes forever, but it gets done and I drive back to her place and join her on the bed. I love holding her.

"Thank you, baby,"

"You're welcome," I kiss her forehead. "I'll make you some lunch later,"

"Okay,"

"I want to spend the day with you,"

"Can we stay inside?"

"Of course we can, whatever you want."

She kisses me and I grab her letting my phone go to voicemail. I don't want to talk to anyone or be with anyone but Bonnie right now.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She asks hovered above me.

"You can tell me anything,"

"I wasn't really lost last night. I just- I just wanted to see if you would come find me. Wanted to see if you still loved me."

I'm not sure how I should feel. She tricked me but she had a reason that I can't bring myself to be angry at. "Just call me, Bonnie. You don't have to pretend to be lost or scared or anything like that, just call me. I'll answer in a heartbeat."

"I'm sorry,"

"It's okay," I kiss her. "Know that you'll always be my one."

She nods then rest her head on my chest. Her warmth covers my body like a sauna and I rest in its delight.

* * *

For the first time ever, we're in the kitchen together cooking. Cooking and holding a conversation. She asked me about Tiffany and I told her the truth, I told her that I have a connection with her, that we went out on dates and that I loved her. A part of me wanted to hurt her and I'm not sure if I did or not but it did something, I could tell. She changed the subject quickly and we find ourselves laughing reciting movie lines. Some of the ones I recite Bonnie doesn't know what movie they're from which makes it all the more funnier. We sit down at the table together to eat which is quiet but that's okay because we're too busy eating. I'm surprised when she stands only to sit on my lap and she hugs my head before eating again and I take that as her way of telling me that she just wanted to be closer to me. I smile and rest my head on her shoulder for a beat.

"So how's uh everything with Elijah?"

"I don't know, I haven't talked to him lately. I hear he's okay though."

"That's good."

"What is?"

"That he's doing good. I may not like him, but I have a heart." That made her chuckle. "You don't believe me, baby?" I tease.

She chuckled again. "I didn't say that. if anyone knows that you have a heart it's me. You're the most loving man I know. And I mean that sincerely."

"Thanks, babe." I run my hand across her stomach.

She stopped my hand by covering it with hers and I look up at her as she stays there frozen.

"Babe?"

She snaps out of it. "Huh?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she smiles then kisses me, letting go of my hand.

"Hey," I grab her face. "Tell me,"

"I can't,"

"Why?"

"Because I'll hurt you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to say anymore."

"Okay," I only stop pushing because I don't want her to ask me to leave. "I've been going to therapy," I say a distraction.

"Really, why?"

"I just need someone to talk to, you know. Someone who would just listen and just- I don't know, but it's nice."

"How long have you been going?"

"Not long, I've only had two sessions so far."

"So what do you talk to her-"

"Him,"

"him about?"

"You, mostly and just things I'm dealing with at the time."

"Has it helped?"

"Very much. Though I did threaten him one time."

She laughed. "Jeez, babe, only two sessions in and you threaten him?"

"Which is exactly why I'm going to therapy, I need help."

She smiles then shifts to straddle my lap and I held her hips. She kisses me and rocks her hips into me making me groan which makes her smile. She knows. She knows that she's my weakness and that just proves it. "Are you just teasing me or am I actually going to get some?"

She takes my face in her hands and kisses along my cheek until she reaches my ear then bites me there. I take that as my answer then carry her upstairs.

* * *

I wake up to a phone ringing and shortly Bonnie answers it and I was just going to go back to sleep but I hear her tell whoever it was her name then ask who she was talking to and she said a name back that made me immediately listen in. Tiffany.

"...Stefan's girlfriend,"

Bonnie pauses for a few seconds. "Yeah, I've- I've heard. He told me how much he loves you."

"And he told me how much you abandon him."

Holy fuck.

Another pregnant pause. "I've been going through a difficult time-"

"So he's over there?"

"Outside fixing my car actually. I got stuck in the middle of the road last night and I called him and he came."

"He's just fixing it now?"

"Well he spent the night on the couch and we had lunch and stuff… You know how men are, he might be out there all afternoon not wanting to ask for help."

"Yeah."

"Anyway, I'll tell him you called."

"Thanks."

"Bye,"

It's dead silent and I feel so horrible. I had no idea that Tiffany would ever say anything like that but she did express that she's a jealous person so it isn't much of a shock anymore. It still sucks though. What I'm mainly surprised by is how Bonnie lied. She could've easily told her the truth about last night and our day so far together but it was like she was sparing her feelings which was something that Tiffany didn't do.

I pretend to just wake up and I turn to her but her back is faced with me instead. I gently placed my hand on her back as she turns to me, I offer her a smile and she gives me one back but it was forced and that made me frown. "Babe,"

"Your girlfriend called,"

"Baby,"

"I thought it was my phone but it wasn't and I told her that I would tell you. She seemed nice." I just look at her. "You should call her," she says letting out a breath.

"I don't want to, I want to only be with you right now."

"What about tomorrow?"

I shake my head clueless, "I-"

"Whatever, Stefan." She moves to get up but I stop her.

"No, you don't get to do this to me. Not again. You can't keep dismissing me like I'm nothing then want me to be there for you a week later. I'm tired of this, Bonnie."

"So she was right,"

"What are you talking about?"

"Tiffany. She told me that you tell her that I abandon you."

"I never said abandon,"

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry-"

"Stop apologizing, Stefan! Jeez, I can't- I can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"You're more than anything I deserve. I can't be with you anymore."

"Yes, you can,"

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. You don't get to break up with me, not after everything that I have done for you. I love you, Bonnie and I'll be the first to admit that I wish I didn't love you so much, but I do. You care about me, more than you care to admit, but you do and for whatever the reason, you're doing everything in your power to block those feelings and push them to the side. Why?"

"Because I don't want to love you."

"Why not?

"Because I'm not supposed to."

"Who in the hell is stopping you? Is it Elijah?"

"Mostly, it's part of it,"

"Part of what?"

"If I tell you," a tear slides down her cheek, "you're going to _hate_ me and I'm not ready for that yet."

"I will never hate you, Bonnie."

"Yes, you will. I know it."

"I won't. I swear to you."

"I'm not the person you think I am. "

"Then who are you, tell me who you are."

She stares at me and I look into her eyes back when I see her swiftly move then a needle is in my neck and by the way I'm fading, I know it's filled with vervain.

"I'm a hunter."

Black.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up in my bed and alone. I'm confused as to why she didn't tie me up or ship me somewhere else or better yet kill me if she's indeed a hunter. I exhale taking this all in but I halt inhaling because I smell her. I smell her on my skin and clothes. She had to know the exact time for the vervain to wear off so she could leave just before I woke up. Her head rested on my chest, her arms stretched around me in a hug. She loves me.

I quickly find my phone and I call her. She doesn't answer because I know she thinks that I'll hate her or curse her, but I can never do that. "Baby. I love you, come back, let's talk about this. I don't want to lose you." I sigh then decide to call Tiffany back while she's on my mind.

"Stefan?"

"It's me,"

"I've been trying to call you all day."

"I know, I'm sorry. I was just dealing with a problem and I lost track of time trying to fix it. Let me make it up to you. Tonight, we'll go out for dinner."

"Why can't I see you right now?"

"Because I'm late for my therapy session and I don't want to miss it. I have to go, but I'll see you tonight. I love you."

I wait for hers back before hanging up and getting dressed because what I told her wasn't a lie. I am late.

...

Sorry, I'm late, I had a crazy week. I met this girl, Tiffany who's gorgeous and smart and sexy and I fell for her, honestly. What are you smiling at?

 **Because Tiffany wasn't a coincidence. That's the person I thought of for you. I set you two up without telling you because I didn't want to make everything feel like a blind date.**

Is she like your sister or?

 **No, she's one of my wife's uh… acquaintances.**

Alright well uh, since she isn't that close to you, I have to admit that uh- I- we were planning a night together, and we were dancing when Bonnie called me. She told me that she needed me and that she was scared.

 **What happened?**

Her car ran out of gas on this long and dark road, I ran out on Tiffany to find her but I was fighting with myself beforehand If I should actually go or not. Anyway, I find her in this shed and I hold her and ask if she's hurt and she seems fine and then we have sex. I take her home and get the car towed for her then I go back to her place and she tells me that she really wasn't lost. That she just wanted to see if I would still come, see if I still loved her.

 **Stefan-**

I know, I know, but she was just-

 **You have to stop making excuses for her. Every time I tell you the truth about Bonnie you always have a but to follow it. Stefan, she manipulated you and I already know that you accepted it and forgave her because that's just the person you are, but why. Why Bonnie?**

I don't know.

 **Sure you do, think, there must be something.**

 _I shake my head thinking. I've thought about this before and I couldn't think of anything._

Because she stops my hunger.

 **But why, Stefan. Why does she have that effect on you?**

She was always there for me at first, I would see her every day and we'd talk for hours I know that she's a great person and I don't want to give up on her.

 **Deeper, Stefan.**

Because she… She. I don't know, tell me the answer.

 **Because she manipulated you. That's why.**

I don't understand,

 **Bonnie is the type of person that loves to play games. She was playing the role of the woman you always wanted, the woman you fantasized about and just as you were getting comfortable, she switched to the person she actually is. But here's the thing, you don't fully see her as the woman she is, but the woman she isn't. It's like a parent would more than likely always view their child in the most worthy way when in reality, their kid is far from it. You love "Bonnie" so you're forcing yourself to tolerate Bonnie long enough until "Bonnie" comes out to play. This whole manipulation is what distracts you from the hunger. You're so focused on which Bonnie is presented in front of you that anything other than that isn't a priority.**

So what should I do? I can't just stop,

 **Why can't you?**

Because I know she loves me. I can't turn my back on that. She wants to be committed-

 **Then tell me why she isn't?**

Because she's a hunter.

 **A hunter?**

Vampire Hunter, it's her job to kill me.

 _Frank sighs deeply taking off his glasses._ **Stefan. If that isn't making you run for the hills, then I'm not sure if I can help you.**

But she-

 **Again with the excuses, Stefan. Is this woman really worth your soul? Because that's what you're gambling with. She can kill you at any given second and yet if she held out her hands, I bet you would run into them. You're in it deep, Stefan. If you really want help, I can send you to a hypnosis and he can wipe you clean of her, but until then, I can't help you anymore with Bonnie. We can talk about Tiffany and other things, just not Bonnie.**

Okay,

* * *

I stare down at the card Frank gave me and I want to be rid of her, I want my brain to be wiped clean but I can't bring myself to do it. Bonnie loves me, she was just scared as was I when I was thinking about telling her what I am. The last thing she wants is for me to do is hate her and by calling him, that's what I'll resemble and though Frank would forever be upset with me, I won't do it. Not yet.

"Bonnie, baby please come by my house when you get the chance. I have- I'm busy tonight but I'm staying inside for the rest of the day. I don't hate you, I love you. I love you so much, more than anything. Let me prove it to you. Come by. Please."

Another voicemail but I have a feeling that she's listening to them. She may think I'm setting her up for something, which is why I want to find her, but I can't tonight.

I get ready for my date with Tiffany and wait until the very last minute before I leave just in case Bonnie decided to show up. I knock on her door then look around before the door opens and I smile and compliment her before stepping in.

"Stefan?"

"Yeah?"

"When Bonnie answered the phone the other day, I was not the nicest person to her and I feel awful about it. So I just- next time you see her, could you tell her I'm sorry?"

"I'm not exactly sure when that'll be but of course I will."

She smiles then hugs me. We talk for a little while before heading out to dinner. I try to not make it obvious by checking my phone multiple times throughout dinner just in case Bonnie contacts me in any way and I'm not sure of how good of a job I did, but Tiffany didn't say anything. The whole date just turns into a blank but I remember her laughing so at least she enjoyed herself. I stop once I'm inside my home and breathe before running upstairs. She's waiting for me in the bed and I greet her lips then eventually her lower lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"You're accepting it?"

"I can't hold it back anymore. I hate myself a little for that. Falling in love with you."

"Run away with me. We can escape this."

She smiled sadly. "It's not that simple."

"We don't have to tell anyone, just you and me. No worries."

"I want to but I can't."

"Why?" He ran his hand down her hair. "I will protect you no matter what."

"I know you will."

"Then let's do it. Right now."

"Stefan,"

"You stayed with me, didn't you? You didn't leave, you stayed close. After you vervained me, you stayed."

"How did you know?"

"I could smell you. So close, like I am now. Did you hold me?" I look up to see a tear rolling down her face. She nods several times and I kiss her moving her to her back. "Don't be sad. I love you."

"Stefan," she shakes her head, "I can't."

"What, you can't what?"

"I can't be with you anymore."

"Why baby?"

"I'm sorry,"

I hold her again when she cries. "What happened?"

"I'm a hunter. I kill vampires but I fell in love you with that night. Our first night and that's why I've been so distant with you. It wasn't supposed to go this far, but I fell in love with you."

"All the more reason to run away with me."

"Stefan,"

"We can leave right now and never look back. I love you. You're in love with me, let's go."

"How can you still love me, Stefan? After everything I did and told you."

"You're my soulmate. When I'm with you, Bonnie, the last thing in my mind is to kill, but once you walk away it's all that I can think about. I've been going to therapy for help, but you're all I need, all I want." I kiss her again.

"I can't,"

"Stop saying that. What's holding you back?"

"I need proof. If I run away without any proof of kill, they'll hunt the both of us down and they won't be nice."

"What kind of proof?"

Another tear trails down her gorgeous face. "A head,"

I exhale and close my eyes. "I love you so much." I was ready to ask her to say it back, but I didn't have to.

"I love you too."

"Okay. Give me vervain again, okay, then do it. I'm already dead without you. I never want to put you in harm or danger." I reach for her bag and pull out a syringe. "Do it."

"I can't."

"Just close your beautiful eyes, knock me out, take your weapon, then count one, two, three that should do it. Okay, promise me."

"I can't,"

"Baby," I grab her shoulders. "Promise me. Do this for me. You love me, do this for me." I caress the right side of her face. "Eject me with two so with the first one you can hold me and cry and the second one you can do it. Promise me. Promise me, Bonnie."

She's crying harder than I've ever seen a person do so and it's breaking the hell out of my heart.

"I promise," she manages then I hold her close to me and she immediately holds me back. "I hate you. I hate you so much."

"I hate you too. I wish I never met you."

I wait for the pinch but it doesn't come. I pull away to look into her watery eyes and wipe some of her tears away. "Can I just have one more day with you?" She asks. "Every second of every minute of every hour. Just the two of us."

"Anything for you."

She drops the syringe and hugs me close breathing out.

* * *

*Dear Frank,

This will be my last time talking to you because tomorrow will be my last day on earth. Bonnie has to kill me or else she will be hunted down and killed herself and I just cannot let that happen. We were planning to run away together when she told me this and it was my decision to have her kill me. I know you don't approve of her or of what we have, but I love her. She wants to spend every minute of tomorrow with me which is why I'm writing this email instead of telling you face to face. Please tell Tiffany that I really enjoyed our date and that she's an amazing woman. Thank you for being my person to talk to though I don't always listen.

Stefan.

* * *

 **A/N: I hate to say it but next chapter will be the last :(. Will we be saying bye-bye to Stefan or will Bonnie come up with another way? Let me know your thoughts in the reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up to her eyes. She smiles and they sparkle and I can't stop myself from kissing her. She holds me close kissing me back and my heart races just as fast as I hear hers beat. I tell her that I love her and am relieved when she tells me that she loves me back. She tells me that she just wants to lay here all day so the time would go by slower making it seem like we have more seconds together. I promised her that if we needed to go anywhere, I'd use my speed so we wouldn't waste time. She laughed some but agreed. We shut off our phones and anything that can get an alert and strip down to our underwear and be together. We touch, we kiss, we feel. She lets me bite her and she drinks my blood. Sex follows and I take her slow. We exchange breaths and I feel her soul become mine. We kiss and my hips move faster within her until she comes digging her nails into my skin. Our lips meet again and she holds me close as I with her.

* * *

I read my journal aloud as her head rests on my chest following along. I want to open up more to her so I decided to spill out all my secrets. The good, the bad, and the terrible. She doesn't flinch or utter a word as I go into detail about a kill, she doesn't tell me to stop with all the blood. But she laughs at the good, trail her fingertips down my arm learning of my control. It's then when I come to realize that she fully accepts me.

* * *

I watch her eyes as she lays on me and rests her chin on her folded arm to keep her head up. She hums lightly and beautifully then moved to rest her head down and draw circles on my chest. I want to ask her what she's thinking about, what has her humming such a light tune. Is it because our bodies are touching? Because though in a dark situation we're alone together? I decide to just let it be and rub my hand along her back and I see her cheek lift in a smile.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Her voice startled me some as it shattered the silence. "Sure,"

"Where do vampires go after…"

"It's called the Other Side. It's death but you're alive with the souls of other supernatural beings."

"So you won't really be gone?" She looks up at me with wide eyes.

"I won't really be gone. I promise."

She kisses me relieved. I move my hand to the side of her face and stroke her cheek with my thumb. Her eyes smile.

* * *

We go for a walk next to enjoy the day. It's a woodsy area in my backyard so that's where we walk to avoid any others. It's like I'm blind and Bonnie's my only source of sight so I gawk at her the entire time. She talks softly to me and holds my hand. We end up laying on the grass feeling connected to earth. I'm going to miss it here, miss my life and most importantly Bonnie, but I keep those just as thoughts. You would think that you would want to know your fate. Know exactly when and where you'll die, at the exact hour but knowing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm actually scared and I'm afraid that if I talk my voice would be shaking. But it's for Bonnie, her safeness, her wellbeing. I love her and I would rather die a thousand times over just so she could be spared.

"Stefan?"

I turn my head towards her. "Yes?"

"I sometimes wish that I just killed you on the spot like with others so you wouldn't have to go through this."

"Why didn't you?"

"For some reason, my mission was to make you fall in love with me then reveal to you that I'm a hunter and kill you. I never thought that I would fall for you. I bought time by saying that it wasn't the right time but at Caroline's party, they were able to see time was past due. They threatened me so that's why I left in a hurry because I don't want to do this."

"Caroline's in on it too?"

She nodded. "And that's the last of the people that you know. Well, besides Elijah. That's how she and I met though, through the Society. We created a backstory just for the fun of it and lied to our friends who didn't know us before."

"Why would you join such a place like that anyway? I know you, this isn't like you at all."

"You only know what I tell you, Stefan." I frown. "I was in a dark place at the time, my grams passed away due to the hands of a vampire and that triggered the abandonment that my mom put me through and how I was practically all alone in this world that the only thing to comfort me at night was my pillow. I started practicing my magic more and I never knew that my anger could give me such power. One day I decided to avenge my grams and I found the vampire and killed him, easily. I guess he was already on the list because one of them came out and slow clapped at me. I was ready to charge again until he told me who he was and about the Society and what they do. At the time it was an easy decision, hell yes all the way but then as time passed I realized that I was still angry. That no matter how many vampires I kill it would never substitute the pain in my heart. And then I was handed your folder. Elijah hates you for a reason he wouldn't tell so he wanted you to suffer the most. I hated this plan because I just knew that there was no way that I could ever make a thing that I hate so much love me. Do you remember the first time we met?"

"Of course I do,"

"I studied you for quite some time. Saw who you knew, what you did and what time, how many people you killed. Very surprised to find out that you feed off animals more than humans and drank from blood bags more than the vein. I knew then that it wouldn't be so hard because you're one of the good ones. So at four o'clock pm, Saturday, June third, I walked in the library and headed to the nonfiction section and looked at you for the first time without studying your every move. You were so concentrated that it took you some time to actually notice me." We smiled. "When I met your eyes for the first time, I felt paralyzed. My spine was stiff, my legs couldn't move-"

"Yet you walked away very quickly."

She laughs and my heart speeds. "I was embarrassed, I- that wasn't how I planned things to go. I thought that I blew it and I was just going to trade missions with someone else but then I feel your hand grab my arm and you turn me around and you smile at me. If they were about, I would've swallowed about five flies." She smiled at me. "Next thing I remember, we're talking about books and I share parts of my life with you, and you do as well to me. And ever since then that's all we've done. When I started feeling something for you, I would shut down and turn away. When you tried to kiss me, when you tried to hold me, touch me, anything at all, I wanted none of it because I knew that this day had to come. I love you, Stefan. And if there was a way that we wouldn't have to run for the rest of our lives then I would jump on it but there isn't. I promise you that I will make things right. I'll leave the Society and I'll never look back."

The only thing that I could really do in that moment was to hold her. I'm glad that she opened up to me about all of this, it helps me find the peace that I need to pass over smoothly.

It gets dark soon after that so we head back inside. She leads me upstairs and removes her clothes wanting me to do the same. We kiss and she climbs on top of me teasing me with her hand. I enjoy every touch, every kiss, every stroke because this will be the last. I take her slow wanting to remember every inch of her. She asks me to bite her and I do. Her blood is running through my veins and she drinks my blood so mine is rushing through hers.

When it's over, we get dressed and she kisses me climbing on my lap. I can smell the vervain in the air but I continue to kiss her. She shortly pulls away and looks straight into my eyes. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"You promise?"

"I swear."

It's then when I feel weak and the last thing I remember before drifting away is a tear sliding down her cheek."

Celene blinked for the first time since he started the story. She found Stefan roaming around three days ago and he was the first face that she had seen who didn't look angry. She studied him for an hour until he finally called on her. She was embarrassed but revealed herself and asked him how he could be so at peace in a place like this. That's when he told her his story and she couldn't imagine ever going through anything like that in either Stefan's or Bonnie's position. There's a noise and they both look up and over towards the sound. Stefan narrows his eyes before they widen and he stands and walks over to it. Celene wonders what he's doing but then she sees it for herself. A woman lurking, just as she was when she first spotted Stefan.

"Bonnie?"

Her heart races and she stands feeling everything inside her grow with warmth.

Stefan halts in his stride when she comes from out of the shadows and drops to his knees. Bonnie smiles and gets on her knees as well holding his face.

"It can't- I- I don't understand."

"After everything, I gathered some of your blood. I called Elijah and told him everything and he came to get you. When he left was when I cried and cleaned everything up. I went to the Society and they congratulated me, told me that I was moving up in the ranks, but I didn't want to do that anymore. I wanted out and I needed to escape so I waited a few days before I packed everything and left. I put my stuff in storage so if they go looking they could see that I have gone. That night I filled my veins with your blood and I took some pills and laid in the bathtub thinking of you. When I woke up, I wasn't the same, there was a shift that was addicting but it didn't matter. The next adult I saw, I drank from and compelled and then I drove further away so I could kill myself one last time."

"You're alone,"

"My body is with nature, Stefan, I'm hardly alone. If I could, I would die next to you."

He kisses her three times then pulled her in for a hug."I love you so much."

"I love you so much more." She pulls back some from the hug and met their lips.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading this story it was a short little one that I really love.**

 **Until next time!**

 **XO  
Ashlyne**


End file.
